​​

 

 

​

9 AM - 10 PM

This means the earliest I'd ever do an appointment is 9 and latest 10.

My schedule above gives the actual time I arrive and leave a city.

 

 

3 hours minimum notice

I'm not a pizza.

​

​

 

9 AM - noon appointments

are booked by day before

There's no email fairy that works while I sleep.

​

"Notice" means we've finished talking and confirmed. If you fire off a request and I reply but then never hear back from you until the day of, it's a same day appointment. Participate in a conversation until the end to book ahead.

​

​

​

​

Massage. Really.

I'm a massage therapist and as such don't discriminate or "speed pass" based on race, looks, age (as long as you're an adult) etc. I'm famiiar with and unbothered by benign conditions like psoriasis and vitiligo. I'm not ignorant, judgmental nor gossipy about weight, flaws, bodily functions, etc (all things I've seen FS providers cruelly gossip about on social media after they flattered you). There's nice (fake) and kind (real). I'm kind. Do you want to be flattered by a woman who secretly loathes you or warmly and genuinely accepted by someone who isn't shallow?

 

I don't give "bodyrubs". A recent post I saw on Reddit: "I've recently changed my services, and I no longer offer full service, just massage/body rub and I'm so much happier. Plus I get a kick out of the look on client's faces when they ask/beg for fs and I say no 🤣 Now that I'm in a relationship I just don't feel right about offering fs and I've been stealthed a few times so I just feel better about not offering it." I'm happy for this woman and the other SWer who replied that they're moving away from feeling violated, but deciding to limit your services without real skill or training isn't value added for clients, just options reduced. As a client your massage quality will vary dramatically from someone willing to give a few "rubs" for her benefit versus a therapist committed long term to a career in massage.

​

​

​

​

​

No hobbyists.

Review board guys are the world's worst for monotonous cringe attempts at predation as well as projection (always imagining providers are as manipulative, combative and deceptive as they are). It's telling that many of the same clients who loudly support providers who say "no black clients" by saying "she should be able to say who she doesn't want to see" will turn right around and lie to see a provider who's made it clear she doesn't want to see someone of their description. Seems like the right to refuse they loudly defend is conveniently selective.

 

Lying about not being a "hobbyist" starts with pushing past the very first words in my ad. When I say no hobbyists I don't mean I'm afraid of bad reviews. Gossipy forum discussions are far more frequently a problem than a formatted review on the same site, and "good" gossip has caused far more problems than any snarky comments (which are almost always made by guys who've never laid eyes on me anyway). I've had enough of board guys doing things such as: poring over and sharing my personal dating ad (apparently a provider isn't entitled to have a personal relationship), describing my companion animal in unnecessary detail, posting my unpublished contact info, publicly naming the street corners my hotel (and only that one hotel) was on, showing up with their camera lens aimed at my face when I opened the door as if they were a cub reporter and I was the "scoop", "taking one for the team" to see if I really offer what I advertise, going back to the board later to say how "sad" they are to report I offer what I advertise... it goes on and on. It's little wonder that these guys clutch their pearls daily about the fantasy they'll be "blackmailed" by some provider. They imagine providers will treat their privacy and boundaries like they do ours. Clients, not "hobbyists", realize privacy and discretion are mutual, not one-sided. I only want clients.

 

​​​

​

 

Please don't be early

I'm incredibly flexible about when I can see you, given outside driving and sleeping I'm on call 13 hours a day 7 days. But once you set an appointment I plan my day around the time you hold.

 

Please don't reach out day of to change the time without good reason. If you were initially booked day ahead it applies to the appointment, not the whole day. If you change the time same day on whim you're changing to same day booking, because now I have to scramble to change my whole day. I understand this happens in emergencies. It shouldn't happen frequently "just because".

 

Please don't show up 30 or even 15 minutes early (never in my hotel's lobby - if you're early and need a bathroom please find a restaurant or store or wait to use mine). I'll still be getting ready "only" 15 minutes before. Time I have to stop and fiddle with my phone to read and respond to a "Here early but no rush" text makes me later, not earlier.

 

​

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

 

I don't require deposits.

 

I do require pre-booking.

​

​